in the episode, a roof of a factory collapsed killing 1 of the characters. actually, the character got out of the factory, but died later in a hospital room whhile she was proposing to another character (she actually died at the moment you are meant to kiss the bride)

this was a very hard episode for me to watch, for 2 reasons

1 reason is, I have witnessed someone die in my arms, twice- and when the character died, I felt her collapse in to my arms (like she was one of the 2 people I'd witnessed), but I was screaming rana, rana, rana (rana being the name of the character who died), and it felt like rana, (or who ever was in my arms) felt familiar to me

the other reason is because when my grandfather died, he fell off a roof- that's how he died, so naturally a sceen involving a roof collapse probably wasn't the best choice for viewing.

anyway, now I'm blaming myself for it- for watching the episode, for putting myself through it and for feeling triggered.

I mean what kind of person (unless they were really stupid) would watch a roof of a factory collapse and come to the conclusion well, the factory's collapsed, but everything's going to be okay

the next few episodes are going to be hard with the funeral and stuff (so I am going to do my best to avoid them), but still

I am so, so stupid