Stacy, If there IS any truth in what you're saying it will be a result of your own choices. Your the one with the power here to throw this thing into reverse and get headed in the other direction! I assume thats what you want is to feel better right? then quit speaking to your illness, feed your faith and starve your doubts, YOU must represent the change you want to see in your life by saying to yourself, " I have some good things in my life that I'm so thankful for,and right now,even though it makes no worldly sense I choose to love myself despite what anyone else thinks." Stacy, you need a miracle to turn your life around, you'll see it when you believe it! Everything happens for a reason and your situation is no diffrent, sometimes we're stripped of everything else besides what we're supposed to focus on in order to make it unavoidable...thats where your at... I say kick the depression right in the chops and don't look back or listen to people who tell you that you can't because they were'nt able to! be your own HERO! this is just the beginning of what could be a life beyond your dreams, make the right choice, (please) the world desperatly needs what you have to offer.