A sexless marriage is not abuse. There are plenty of reasons why sex may not occur.

A healthy and respectful discussion around why it is not happening in addition to a respectful but honest acknowledgement of your need to have sex is a good starting point perhaps with your wife.

Many different scenarios could be happening in your marriage: she doesn’t feel loved, she is too tired, she is depressed or too stressed, etc etc. it needs to be talked about, but respectfully.

Secondly, sex cannot be controlled or verbally manipulated or forced. It’s an act between two willing and consensual people, when they both feel like it. I agree that boundaries and respect may be an issue for you on this front.