Yes Mopey, exT is SO Special. im so lucky for having met Him. im working on what im going to tell Him next time we meet for session.

So basically today is last day of week #5 at work. it went quite well. i caught myself making a mistake and solved it. i did do the bare minimum required but dosing my energies is helping a lot both with having a better consideration of my job and with my own wellness (physical and psychological).

there still is the weekend but weekends are so pleasant, they dont really count in my struggle to survive the week. they are a reward. this week was easier though, since i got to sleep at my parents' all week except for 2 nights.

Today i tried to show my coworker i do care about him, because i really do (in spite of not wanting it). he was having a medical appointment. He didnt tell me what it was about and i didnt want to be intrusive so i didnt ask, but i wished him good luck when he went and asked him if he was ok when he got back. he was. maybe its not everything right 100% but he said he felt much more relaxed because he was so tense before going. its really not like me (except for some exceptions i made over the years) to ask and show interest in someone but it does feel good. i just dont want to be the only one who shows interests (now talking about someone else who hurt me with her silence). i cant always be the only one making contact/efforts. right?

Anyway, today i did better with food since i keep gaining weight and i MUST put a stop to it. still no chocolate (day #4 chocolate free). i've thought maybe the best thing would be eating that chocolate once every day, as part of my routine. it would not be so hard to keep from eating it during the day since i'll know i'll get to eat it again the day after and the day after and so on for as long as i want it, and it would stop me from bingeing whenever i'd feel i could interrupt the chocolate free days. maybe having it part of the routine would help. maybe thats the best way to go. i'll start on monday.

tonight im seeing my friend. we're going to eat chinese. im happy to see her and spend a relaxed night with her. she is nice and its always pleasant to see her. i cant believe another week has passed since i last saw her last friday. and im SO glad im going at my parents tonight, i'll see and cuddle with the cats and i'll get to be with them a bit. i'll watch a LOT of NEW tv series. my brother will come home this sunday. im not happy about it (he talks too much and i feel confused with all that noise) but i'll try to stay positive….