Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolblue222
Thank you all for your replies. I imagine I have some level of postpartum depression. I’m managing ok. We have not met the baby yet as he is 4 hours away but they are supposed to be coming up next weekend. I have this internal feeling like I do not want to face any of them because of my emotions.
I’m having a hard time being happy for anyone. My other in laws are moving and will be purchasing a nice big house. I have neighbours who will be building and I’m jealous that they may have a nice big elaborate house. We just built a couple years ago. I mean how awesome is my life? I have everything I wanted and more. I should be very blessed. But I take my feelings and it’s so negative towards others. What am I missing that is causing me such greed?
Again thank you all. I’m sorry if I sound like an unselfish person. I do have guilt because of my feelings.
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Hello CoolBlue. Thank you for sharing your update with us. No need to apologize. Your feelings are your feelings...you are okay. You are - not - greedy. And you are - not - selfish. You are a person who is struggling right now. It sounds like you are grappling with a self-esteem issue. You mentioned possible postpartum depression. Depression can do a number on our sense of self. But it is reversible...you will feel better with the right approach and support. I think you might not compare yourself/your lifestyle with others to the same degree if you start to feel more accepting of yourself. Underneath it all, I don't think you are really being negative about others; I think you are projecting negative feelings about yourself onto others, if you see what I mean. That could be worth exploring. I am so sorry that you are in pain. I also wonder if this struggle is an opportunity for you to learn more about yourself and your personal needs and wishes? Does that resonate at all or sounds way off?
I continue to wish you peace, hope, and a bright future. Take good care of yourself. You deserve it. Try telling yourself positive things each day...say them aloud and write them down...whether you feel that way or not...see what happens.