I couldn't have asked for a better reaction I think
But I still feel guilty and bad and ashamed for having told you
I keep replaying the moment you finally guessed correctly
How could you say those words so casually?
I still feel my stomach drop every time I think about it.
I'm trying to remind myself of the things you said after. Even with all my anxiety and cognitive distortions I have to acknowledge that it was clear that you really weren't judging me, that you really did think it was normal and okay.

I want you to agree with me that wanting these things is bad and wrong and unacceptable, but to tell me that it's possible to change that. I want you to tell me that there's hope that I can stop being like this, not that it's okay/normal/natural for me to feel like this.
I want to be able to make myself good, not to be told that I'm not bad.