I don't want the hospital... i really don't. they'll just put me on another med that'll make me gain massive weight and send me on my way. last time i was there they gave me attitude. i was having panic attacks and couldn't breath from the stiffness the haldol would make me and they'd wouldn't give me benadryl and that's what helped me when i went to the hospital the day before my birthday because it was night time and would make me sleep. they tried to force it on me... i told them no after they forced me to take it. my pdoc asked if i wanted to get back on the haldol knowing very well it gave me tardive dyskinesia. does she get money from them if they put me on them? I don't want haldol... I don't even know if i want clozapine... it's something they haven't suggested even though they know very well i've tried most antipsychotics. i think it's real and i'm treatment resistant because i'm not going through psychosis.