My Support Forums - View Single Post - Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Omers · Mar 30, 2019, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LabRat27

unsolicited opinion/personal experience, putting it in a tw so it's easier to not read if you'd rather not read it, no pressure

Possible trigger:

No matter how much I trust my T, I would not bring a third person into the room. Part of it is past childhood experience with Ts falling for my abusive father's act and he was able to use therapy as another tool of control.
But part of it is also just that it complicates things. It would add to my doubts and anxieties. I want my T to be my T and no one else's, at least within the context of our relationship.
I value my relationship with my T, and I know things going wrong with a third person could break the trust I have in him and I wouldn't want to risk that. It was hard enough for me to find one T I kind of trust. If I wanted relationship counseling I would want to see a different therapist for that because I wouldn't want to risk the relationship I have with my current T, and it would be too easy for the dynamics with a third person to irreparably damage the existing relationship with my T

I hope that whatever happens you're taking care of yourself and staying safe

Thanks LabRat
I too have had bad experiences bringing a third person into session. I know my husband will be an ***, monopolize the session, buddying up to T while trying to make it look like it is about me and I will leave feeling like I was cheated out of my sacred time with T. T does mostly couples/family counseling though so he knows the dynamics. T has established a LOT of trust that in the context of this family I am his only concern and that will not change no matter what... So, I also doubt T would do couples work with us and don’t think H would do couples work with my T even if I could get H into couples therapy. I still think it would be beneficial for T to meet H more than anything. I also want to see what H would do when T tunes into me... would he learn from it or use it as an excuse to blow up... so... long story short I expect the session to be an absolute disaster but think there could be long term benefits... especially with what T could learn.