I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, TheNightWhistle I completely agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given lots of great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it you can and want! I completely agree with what Rose76 has already wonderfully said in her lenghty posts! It's admirable that you want to build a better relationship with your dad, but remember that he has to put some effort into it! I'm so sorry he's feeling depressed. Does he see a therapist? Maybe that could help. He could learn new ways to cope with his feelings. Either way, you can't "force him" to have a good relationship with him. I believe you need to find out whether or not he's truly interested in building a better relationship with you and working with you towards that goal! I'd suggest to talk to him about this and see how it goes from there. Maybe that could help. Make him understand how much this is important to you! Hopefully he'll listen to you and understand you! If he refuses, don't beat yourself over it. It's not your fault! From what you wrote it seems like you're trying to do your best to build a better relationship with and talk to him! That's wonderful! You're a strong, wonderful person. Like I've said, just try to do your best. That's all you can do after all! Perhaps you may start from talking about your hobbies. Perhaps that may be a good way to start a conversation with him if you haven't alread! Please give it a try! You've got nothing to lose! I hope your father will be able to work on himself as well! I feel like that's really important if h wants things to improve! Like all the other people on this thread have already wisely said, though, that's on him, not on you! I hope things will get better soon for both of you! Please keep us updated and let us know how it goes! I'm sure things will get better if he will put the hard work into ti! Sending many hugs to you, TheNightWhistle! Keep fighting! You're a strong, wonderful person! Please remember that!