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Old Mar 30, 2019, 12:43 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,220
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins View Post
I don't see this mom in quite the bad light most do, maybe because I'm a mom. Just sounds like a very worried mom whose separated many miles from a daughter she's concerned about.

Her intentions are good. She's trying to actually be sure doing this isn't a burden financially to you, but at the same time she's interfering a bit too much and probably not realizing it.

Just reassure the mom you've got it covered. Thank her for her thoughtfulness and willingness to help out but that it isn't necessary.

Mom's just worried and grateful there is someone there for her when she can't be herself. You can set boundaries by simply reassuring her that you are her daughter's friend and perhaps just encouraging her to talk directly to her daughter rather than to you. Perhaps suggest that that kind of direct communication is really what would most help her daughter.

I suspect once the daughter gets past this crisis and seems to be doing better, the mother will stop contacting.
I am a mother too and live far away from my daughter.

I can’t inagine calling people reminding them of my daughters birthday. That’s crazy making.

I talk to my daughter, not to other people about my daughter. Makes me think this mother doesn’t have connection with her daughter hence she goes through third party. That’s nuts.

Sure in time of crisis I’d ask someone to maybe check on her if she didnt answer the phone but not make sure they celebrate her birthday and ger her a cake lol My daughter would be so embrassed!

In fact I am in touch with few of my daughters close friends because I’ve known them for years. But I’d not be calling them making sure they got her birthday cake or tell them to check up on her college grades lol