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divine1966
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Default Mar 30, 2019 at 01:11 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche View Post
I agree. I dated a guy with bipolar depression and that wasn't the reason we broke up. We broke up because it turns out, our personalities and interests and lives were not compatible with each other.

I feel like people make up excuses to avoid telling each other the truth because they don't want to feel guilty for being seen as the one who hurt the other person's feelings. So, they lie to avoid feeling that guilt.

Relationships that are successful, are because both people want to be in the relationship and they are compatible.

I feel bad for Grace but I think this guy strung her along online, and then deleted his social media so that she couldn't have a way to contact him. I don't think Grace should invest anymore energy into this guy b/c he's clearly not interested or he wouldn't have suddenly "needed space" to deal with his PTSD.

I have PTSD from a TBI I received 20 years ago, and I have never used that as an excuse to distance myself from friends or any men I dated. What I find ironic, is the way men act like their "excuses" are reasons. Um no. They're still excuses.

It would be better if Grace's boyfriend had told her that he was going to be in therapy away from social media access for a while, but would call her instead. That way, he still is making the effort to stay in contact with her.

But he chose to delete himself from the internet, so that she can't reach him. Unless she has his email or his phone number, I think if she is feeling unsure, she needs to just call him on the phone and ask him if he wants to break up with her.

I've been caught up in this scheme with men more than I care to admit. That's why I stopped online dating. I think it's a waste of time. Men can lie and misrepresent themselves online and never really invest in you, if they don't have to see you in person. So they reel you in, online, with the fantasy of them, and that's all it is, a fantasy, not reality.
I am sorry for your struggles with PTSD and your TBI. I agree with everything you said.

Well you can meet people online and have good relationships but you got to meet them pretty soon and you do have check who they are. I am not saying this guy is not even a veteran, I hope he is, but if relationship is strictly online who really knows.

Saying that, I’ve met my husband online, we are happily married and yes we are who we said we are. There was no fantasy though because we met as soon as we started talking and were dating face to face. It would be the same as if we met in a different venue.
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