Hi, Hurt and confused, and welcome to PC. WOW, what a subject and controversial thread. It has elicited responses and opinions all over the scale, hasn't it!
I have to say, honestly, that I don't feel real positive about your relationship with this man. This is because I was married for 20 years to a man who always put his mother before me. He was oblivious to the way she and his family treated me. As a young wife, I SO wanted to be welcomed as part of his family, but I never was, and so finally a light bulb came on, about two thirds way thru the marriage, and I realized, HEY, I don't have to go there and be around them! So, I ask you, is it crucial to your relationship with this man that you maintain contact with the mother?

I have other questions. No one here has asked, what kind of dogs these are? ....the one that bit your son, as well as the one you are living with? I'm interested to know, because certain breeds elicit more fear and apprehension than others. I know this as a longterm dog owner, dog rescuer.

As for the dog biting your son, this is terrible! I'm a grandmother of 5 year old twins. They were afraid of a dog I had adopted and took to visit them. She was just a big goofy pup...golden retriever, but they were really afraid of her because of her desire to play and jump on them, so I had to restrain her while they were in her presence. I really empathized with the twins' fear of the dog. I did find a wonderful home for her shortly thereafter. Any conscientious parent or grandparent, in my own opinion (though others here disagree, obviously), should put the welfare of children above any dog. If I had a dog that bit either of my grandsons, I would have it put down.

As for the dog you're living with, I don't think it's your responsibility to train the dog. It's HIS dog! Nor is it your responsibilty to take it to obedience classes! Your "husband" is ignoring your wishes not to sleep with the animal, and the dog is really behaving as the "alpha" animal in the household. The man with whom you are living is putting the animals and his mother before you...far before you and your feelings, I regret to say. It's not your job to clean up the poop!

Are you in such a situation that you cannot move elsewhere, taking better care of yourself and your children? Are you financially dependent on this man who has ignored your feelings? Are you still "in love" with him to the point that you can't make such a decision?

I say move to a safe and calm place and take care of yourself!

Love,
Patty