I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Crook32 I understand what you mean. It must be a very difficult situation both for you and your wife. I'm so sorry she isn't being supportive of you! Like BirdDancer has already wisely said, I'm sure that she means no harm and that it loves your very much, but all of thist must be very stressful for her. Of course it's NOT your fault all of this is happening, so please don't feel guilty about it! Please do consider disability if you can and want! It may save your life! I completely agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given some great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it if you can and want! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! Try to take your meds regularly! If things get bet, go to the nearest hospital and ask for help! I know it's not an easy decision to make, but your safety must be the priority! I hope things will get better soon for you! Please take good care of yourself! Remember to be kind to yourself! I hope things will get better soon for your work situation! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Crook32! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this! You don't deserve to go through all of this at all! You don't deserve to suffer at all! Nobody deserves to suffer at all, certainly not you!