Sis Tomi,
I would have thought the same way that you did. If I did not get an invite then I would have assumed that there were problems between my kids and I and would have not come. I guess common courtesy to me is to give everyone an invite...even if it is a phone call.
I do not think that you are overeacting...especially after reading past posts about things that have happened between you and your kids.
This sounds difficult..and my thoughts are with you.

Jessica