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And she always leaves all of a sudden, she plans it with them and then tells me last minute where then it's too close.
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For me this was the most disturbing thing that you said. Why do you think that she does that? My guess is that she doesn't want to deal with you pushing back so she holds off on telling you.
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When she lived there she told me stories about her family barely ever wanting anything to do with her and how she's leave in a heartbeat and that all I had to do was ask. But its complete opposite now or something. I dont understand. I feel that all of a sudden that she's doing something with herself that now they're proud of her or maybe she lied the whole time.
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Well that was then and this is now. Things change. If they all get along now, that is what you have to deal with if you have any thought of staying with her.
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Fast forward 2 years later. Her birthday comes and we both have the time off, I decide to plan a trip with her for a small get away on our couple days off. I find out she's going to go home and spend with her family and asks me to come to and I'm mad and tell her no, I wanted to just have her to myself for a change but she goes anyways and I stay home.
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Well it was her birthday, I see her point.
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Then my birthday comes and she had planned a trip for me for mine but also says she's inviting her family and I told her of rather alone time so I just rather not go if it cant be us. She then chooses to cancel the plans and go home to see her family and I'm left on my birthday by myself.
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I imagine that her thinking might have been that you didn't do what she wanted for her birthday, so she isn't going to do what you wanted for yours.
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I have next to 0 family where I live and she has all her family where she use to. Through out our whole relationship she has chose to go spend her holidays with her family and leave me here by myself because I had to work or could not get the time off. There were a couple holidays she spent with me but I feel it was only because she had to work. But for the most part I was alone and sad by myself on holidays.
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I am an only child, while my wife is one of six children. I've had to come to appreciate and understand and accept that her family gets together a lot and they mean a lot to each other. If you want to be with her, it sounds like that comes with the territory.
I'm pretty astonished actually that she wants to come back to you after you threw her out for wanting to be with her family after graduation. Before that happened, had you and she discussed what will happen in your relationship after she graduated?
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She just shrugs it off and tells me she gave up her whole life and family to come live with me here and that these special occasions that I've mentioned are the only times they can be together at the same time so that I should pretty much just deal with it.
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She did in fact do that, leave her family to live with you. She did in fact see you pretty much every day.
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I never forced her to move with me.
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No you didn't, but to me a more charitable and generous response is in order. When she moved with you, she did not intend to put you in charge of when she can see her family.
I wonder how she would respond if you said "Yes, you gave up a lot to move here and I am grateful for that. I want to encourage and help you to stay in touch with your family, since I get to see you every day now and they don't."