I hear your exhaustion and feel how much of your precious energy it must have taken to write this. I just want you to know this: You are seen. You matter. You are worthy. You are cared for and you're in our thoughts.
I don't know if you're looking for advice, so take this with a grain of salt or leave it completely. Here is a link to a Psychology Today article for when you feel exhausted by life:
6 Tips for What to Do When You Feel Exhausted by Life | Psychology Today