For me this was the most disturbing thing that you said. Why do you think that she does that? My guess is that she doesn't want to deal with you pushing back so she holds off on telling you.


Well that was then and this is now. Things change. If they all get along now, that is what you have to deal with if you have any thought of staying with her.


Well it was her birthday, I see her point.


I imagine that her thinking might have been that you didn't do what she wanted for her birthday, so she isn't going to do what you wanted for yours.


I am an only child, while my wife is one of six children. I've had to come to appreciate and understand and accept that her family gets together a lot and they mean a lot to each other. If you want to be with her, it sounds like that comes with the territory.

I'm pretty astonished actually that she wants to come back to you after you threw her out for wanting to be with her family after graduation. Before that happened, had you and she discussed what will happen in your relationship after she graduated?


She did in fact do that, leave her family to live with you. She did in fact see you pretty much every day.


No you didn't, but to me a more charitable and generous response is in order. When she moved with you, she did not intend to put you in charge of when she can see her family.

I wonder how she would respond if you said "Yes, you gave up a lot to move here and I am grateful for that. I want to encourage and help you to stay in touch with your family, since I get to see you every day now and they don't."