I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, MDDBPDPTSD, and I'm so sorry you've been through all of this Please don't be so hard on yourself. You did the best you could. I believe you've been a wonderful mother. You gave them the most important thing that you could give them, which is unconditional love. You may have made some mistakes, but that only makes you human! Please don't be so hard on yourself! I'm so sorry you're not receiving any support IRL. You don't deserve to go through all of this! You don't deserve to suffer at all! I completely agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given some great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it if you can! I completely agree with mikimostar about considering assisted living or a nursing home if you can! I understand it's not an easy decision to make, but it may be a good option for you if you need to take good care of yourself! I'm so sorry your children aren't being supportive of you! Please don't feel guilty about it! Like I've said, you've tried your best. That's all you could do. I hope you'll be able to build a better relationship with them in the future. I hope things will get better soon for you and for them! Just take good care of yourself, ok? You deserve it and you've earned it! I hope things will get better soon for you and your children! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! We're all cheering you on! We all care about you here! We all love you here! Feel free to write here as much as you need and want! We'll always be here for you and we'll never judge you! I promise you that! Keep fighting! Remember that you're an awesome, strong warrior! We all know that! We all believe in you! I hope you'll be able to believe in yourself as well! You deserve it! Please be kind to yourself! Sending many hugs to you, MDDBPDPTSD