This really bothers me.

I seem to have too much extra skin on my face or something and it sags. This makes my mouth go down at the sides and makes me look really miserable. It wasn't so bad in my teens and early 20's but now (late 30's), it's really bad, and has been for a about 10 years. I'm getting sick of people telling me to cheer up when I'm not even sad, in fact, that actually brings my mood down!

I can be having a good day, out shopping, quite happy because I've found things I need, maybe even some things I want. And then I see my reflection in a mirror, window etc and what I see is a miserable old bat. Then I am horrified, because this does NOT reflect how I feel inside, but this is what I look like to everyone else. I'm walking around looking like that and that's what everyone sees: the miserable old bat with the saggy grumpy face. One time this old man said "cheer up it might never happen." I had actually been in a good mood and that just made me feel terrible.

The worst was a few years ago when I was at a "happy" event. People were taking photos as they usually do. I never thought anything of it because at that point I was enjoying myself and I had forgot about my appearance. But one person was avoiding me and kept giving me dirty looks. I didn't know why so I just ignored her. A bit later on they were looking at the photos and complaining about how my miserable face spoiled them. And someone angrily said, "you could at least smile for once". I saw the pictures and almost burst into tears, because I did look grumpy and miserable, and that is not how I felt at all. It was horrible.

I now try to avoid photos but people insist on taking them. It's embarrassing. I've tried to "practice" smiling in front of a mirror, but I can't do it. I seem to have so much saggy skin on my face, when I try hard to smile, the skin bunches up and looks really stupid. I look like a clown or something.

I know there's nothing I can do about this, I just wanted to get it out, how bad I feel about it. I know I shouldn't care what others think. It's their problem if they do care. But it's hard.