I'm so sorry you've been through all of this, Misfit Toy I understand what you mean! It must be very hard for you! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! I'm really happy that you have such a supportive husband! Please keep working on yourself! Just try to do your best! That's all you can do after al and it's more than enough! I'm really happy that you've found this forum! This forum is full of wonderful people and I'm sure you'll like it! Hopefully you'll meet other people similar to you as well! I hope things will get better soon for you! You deserve to get better and to feel good! You deserve to live an happy, fulfilling life just like everyone else does! Please don't give up hope! Just try to hang on as much as you can! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Misfit Toy! Please don't give up! Try to hang on! Keep fighting! We all care about you here! We all love you here! Feel free to vent here as much as you need and want! You can be sure that we won't judge you! I promise you that! Keep fighting! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! Remember that you're an awesome, strong warrior, just like everyone else here on PC! Please remember that! We all know that! I'm sure you know that as well, even if it's deep down! I hope you'll be able to see yourself as the wonderful person that you truly are and to believe in yourself the same way we all believe in you! Keep fighting! Believe in yourself! You can do this! You've got this! Keep fighting!