to me, responding to emails is a form of reassurance even if paid for. my understanding is that he isnt paid for every email right? Yet it is important to him to reassure you. From what you report it sounds as though he is reassuring you in session also. he doesnt, however, break his boundaries of contact to reassure you like ex mc used to and maybe that is something worth exploring.

I know I have a hard time accepting care that isnt rooted in chaos and hurt because it is so confusing and new to me. ex mc blurred things and ultimately made things difficult and yet it is easier to think he "cared" than someone who will be there in a predictable, consistant way. It's easier sometimes when the chaos is familiar to think of something g as reassuring and caring even when it is not.

rambling away, sorry!!