I'm struggling enormously with my relationship, I feel physically sick with anxiety, disappointment and regret and may consider therapy asap. I've done almost all I can to make sure my boyfriend isn't paranoid, jealous neither untrusting of me - I don't leave our chat when we're not together because he wants us to speak back to back one to one. So I reply to friends through the notifications. Today, I left our chat a few times to kinda test the water, be a little rebellious, and reply to a friends message - what does my bf do? He goes to bed early and says "you seem more interested in someone else" just because I wasn't reading his messages straight away!!!!!!
BIG DISCLAIMER - I know now that I should NOT have EVER gone through excessive efforts of trying to prove anything to him. This is me hoping to find some insight on moving forward and learning from such naive choices which I gradually am.
It's a hard pain to explain but I feel internally and emotionally violated - I've no clue WHAT this horrible feeling is but I feel so gross and sick and angry at him for insinuating I'm doing something wrong by talking to a friend. I've devoted 110% of my attention to him and our chats since we first met MONTH'S ago so he knows I'm loyal to him. Just one day of talking to friends, I'm passively accused of hiding something. Bottom line is, I don't believe I've done anything wrong here but I know this will cause a huge problem tomorrow.
I can already see how this unfolds in several likely scenarios..
- he doesn't talk to me all day, maybe all week.
- we break up over the phone.
- argue.
- he apologises and we try to move on from this. But how much more can I take?!
This isn't the only problem we're having. There's far too much more to get into. I'm not sure how to feel.
everyone says he's manipulative and controlling but I would really appreciate some unbiased perspectives from anyone who understands/has been where I am and moved on
When he's happy, we're perfectly fine but so much of the bad heavily outweighs the good. I'm so upset reflecting on the good times because we seem like aliens. This is what we really are!! He's paranoid, I'm devastated behind those seemingly happy faces.
this relationship isn't online, we're going through a period of not meeting in person after an argument in his car