That's not wierd, i don't think so. I loved your logic to tell you the truth, he loved tools. I'm a carpenter, so to think that someone would be so thoughtful....i think you are in your own way celebrating the man you remember, and that's both joyous and incredibly painful, given its trying to deal with both past and present.

Be kind to yourself. No one, no matter how strong mentally, would find what you've done easy. Unless they were cold, numb, or processed the thoughts you a point where pain no longer existed. Out of thoughtfulness, kindness, respect, wanting him to be remembered as you saw him. And there's not a lot of things more triggering than music our photos, for they both drag us into the past, for better or worse depending on thoughts and memories we attach to them.

Square breathing, simulate your senses, smell, touch, grab something out of the freezer and feel the cold, wall outside and describe out loud tge first three things you see to help with the panic.

Most of all, remember you're human, allowed to hurt, to feel pain, and it's ok to let it out. It shows what sort a person you are inside. From what you've said, that's a very loving person.