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Findingreason · Apr 02, 2019, 09:23 AM

Hey everyone. How are things going?

Things are a little better today. Not 100% by any means, but better than they were.

Possible trigger:

Not feeling suicidal anymore, it was pretty bad last night but I refrained posting here about it cause its against community guidelines.

I went to band for 3 hours and did nothing except an impromptu acoustic jam with a couple band mates. It didn't go too well cause I wasn't vocally warmed up and my voice was cracking periodically.

The day time always seems to go better than the night time lately. Thankfully the sun sets after 8pm now.

Possible trigger:

It's cause the events of the trauma happened at night.

I also realized something...I may....I may actually like guys. I have found a number of them attractive before but I denied the **** out of it in a rooted fear of being abused or assaulted. And the guy I knew before was a horrific example of that. I feel a strong fear that if I date ANY guy I will get assaulted, and have felt that way for a long time. But it was subtle in my mind because I just brushed it all under the couch for so long...

What's everyone up to today?