Today I hope to have the nerve to open up with T about our relationship and where I am at. This is totally foreign to me. T and never discussed out relationship it just happened and we went with it. I dont think either of us really felt the need o discuss that part of therapy. I feel that in order for Emdr T and I to progress we need to talk about some of the things that under normal circumstances would have been talked about in the beginning. However, because she was only intended to be my therapist for EMDR it wasnt needed (or so we both thought). She mentioned last week some of her missteps but I think her missteps were mainly in reponse to what I presented/wanted. I dont believe either of the Ts nor I really knew how working with two Ts would work. All we knew is that the 3 of us were committed to making it work. They both wanted what was in my best interest. We knew it wouldn't be easy and it wasn't. However, Ts death has really changed so much. I have been trying to go with it and beat around the bush about what is going on.

EMDR T seems to be really trying her best to help me and is willing to help however she can. I suspect her knowing more about where I have been not only since Ts death but also before can help is both. I just am so afraid of rejection even though she has never been anything but accepting and compassionate.

So I would love some pocket riders