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Originally Posted by divine1966
Do you know what he likes? Like art of music or history? Then you canaif he’s like to a new exhibit? Or you contact him in writing like on Facebook, it would be less stressful?
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Well, we're both musicians and pre-service teachers, but I don't really go to a lot of live music jam sessions or concerts around here, so I'm not entirely sure what all is going on. Could I ask him? I like getting coffee, beer tasting, happy hour, going to the local gay bar...don't know if any of those would be okay.
Also, for whatever reason, adding anyone on Facebook (whether I have feelings or not) makes me anxious. So I haven't added him yet.
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
You have great insight into yourself and what is really going on deep within you here.
This may sound crude, but think about what literally makes your body get aroused. Do you get all tingly around men, women, both? When you masturbate, think about what it is that gets you aroused.
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Both, although I think it's a lot easier/more common for me to be aroused by women. I do seem to be feeling something around him. When I masturbate, I almost exclusively watch gay or lesbian porn. I imagine some of my attraction to men is from a male perspective. My gender identity has always been in between/masculine and I have a hard time really considering myself a "woman". I recognized I have female parts and have a period and all that, but it doesn't quite feel right to identify as such. I wouldn't say I was 100% a "man" either. I can be effeminate and I don't necessarily identify with traditional masculinity. It's a difficult thing to explain...I have gender dysphoria, but it isn't constant and not always debilitating. I don't care so much about the genitals of a partner, but I worry about the gender role I would get forced into with a guy, especially a straight male. And I do want to know what it would be like with a girl.
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Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Skulls&Crossbones  I'd suggest to just go for it and see how it goes! Ask him out! I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could! I completely agree with what divine1966 has already wisely said! Try to understand what are his hobbies and what would he like to do with you! Perhaps you could start from there! Just try to be yourself! I understand why you'd feel shy! That's perfectly normal! I'm so sorry you've been through such an horrible relationship! Please don't let that dictate how you should live your life! There's nothing wrong with asking out a man and taking decision! The age difference is not that big in my opinion and it's perfectly acceptable! If he has a problem, I'm sure he'll let you know! I'd suggest to just ask him out and see how it goes from there. Try not to think too much about what may go wrong, otherwise you'll feel stuck! Just go for it! Perhaps you could try to do some meditation exercises before asking him out! I believe there are many great videos on YouTube about all of this! As for discovering yourself and experimenting, you're doing that already! By asking out other people and getting to know them, you're already in your path to self-discovery! Please recognize that and be proud of yourself! I hope you'll decide to ask him out! If it's not, that's perfectly ok! Perhaps things will get better next time! Just keep trying and NEVER give up! That's the most important thing that you can do! Just try to do your best! That's all you can do after all and it's more than enough! Be yourself, keep trying and keep fighting, Skulls&Crossbones! You're a strong, wonderful person! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! We're all cheering you on! Keep fighting!   I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Skulls&Crossbones! Sending many hugs to you, Skulls&Crossbones! |
To be fair, being myself has lost me most important relationships so I feel pretty leery about that. I'm used to people not understanding and not trying to understand. To people telling me who I am and not having room to explore gender expression. I don't feel particularly comfortable talking about gender with someone who isn't LGBT. Not to say they can't understand or be accepting, I just don't expect it.