Thanks for all your replies. My husband supports me not going and for that I'm thankful. I don't think these people deserve a gift at all, both because of the way they treat us and because I think it's greedy to expect people to shower you with gifts and money just because you've managed to stay married for 30 years. You know, the funniest thing of all is that my SIL presents herself to people as a "devout Christian". Always talking about seeing the world through God's eyes and testifying to that fact. Well, where was her sense of compassion with me? Where was her sense of forgiveness as she carries on this 2+ year grudge? And what kind of a christian expects gifts and money for a 30 year marriage? I don't know what God she prays to, but it isn't the one in Heaven. Total phony! Makes my skin crawl. Well enough of my rant. Thanks for hearing me out and supporting me in my decision. I have a tendency to take too hard of a line with people sometimes and have hurt feelings over the years. That's why I wanted to ask all of you about this. Thanks for your support.