So I get to my lecture at the university, on a topic related to modern China. It's a lecture that was open to community members who pay for the lecture series. The second one I attended. I hadn't been that well hours before feeling extremely agitated, but I went anyway. I sat down in the mostly full lecture hall and...

I notice a red-headed guy. I look more closely and realize it was the psychiatrist that initially diagnosed me with bipolar disorder about 16 years ago. He was the one who, one year later, had me hospitalized for the first time after not having seen him for a year. Seeing him triggered all kinds of racing thoughts that I would suddenly lose it and everyone in the lecture hall would witness a mental breakdown. In my catastrophic whirlwind of thoughts, I imagined that my current psychiatrist of 14 years suddenly appeared to save me. My current psychiatrist also happens to be the inpatient psychiatrist I had during my first hospitalization 15 years ago. The two docs even talked during that hospitalization about my case. Well...

I look to my left towards the back of the lecture hall, and who do I see? My current psychiatrist sitting next to his wife.

Freak out!!!!! I had my face in my hand for several seconds, then just made myself deal with it. It was not a hallucination. I stayed. At the end, during the Q & A, my psychiatrist asked the speaker a question. I'll admit it was not a great question. What does he know about the Chinese-US economic relationship? What interested the red headed psychiatrist to go? Me? I have a degree in Chinese and China studies. My psychiatrist knows that. I'm sure he didn't think about that when agreeing to go.