I know part of the current issues I am having with my T is my feeling that she is not owning her part in out things have played out with us.

For me I think there is an element of idealization at play. Not that she'll be perfect in her behavior/responses but be perfect in trying. Making missteps, miscalculations, or simply misplaying the situation is bound to happen, I understand that. By some how acknowledging those missteps and miscalculations, I'm able to see how she's still perfect at trying. She tried. It didn't play out the way she'd hoped or thought it might. Ok, that's fine. Sure, I get hurt in the process. Acknowledging that it didn't go the way she thought it might - something didn't land the way she intended is I guess a way of saying I'm sorry that hurt you... without actually saying I'm sorry.

I'm not sure if any of that made sense. It's hard to explain. I can say though, it causes me problems when she can't acknowledge her part in the interaction - regardless if it was counter transference, her own stuff coming up, a reenactment, or an intervention that didn't go the way she thought it might.

And yeah, it's left me with lots of uncertainty on continuing with her. We are now 3 weeks out from when I said that I needed a break from therapizing, that I was still willing to come see her but we needed a break. We have spent the last 3 weeks doing jig saw puzzles with about 10 mins each session spent talking about something that was not generic puzzle talk. That's been 9 sessions, but whose counting, right? Today was the first time we had a talking session. It went pretty well all things considered.