ok so L. last night I decided instead of being pissed off at you for saying that I don't know you, hoping that pissed off would somehow burn away the hurt, that I would try that reframing thing you tried to teach me, and see it instead as you trying something that simply missed the mark, that's all. that you weren't trying to hurt me you were trying to help me. and what do you know it worked i stopped being pissed off and the hurt isn't quite so deep anymore. i can work with this. thank you.