Me. I can relate and I'll tell you how I handled it.

I had to accept the feelings I had that contributed to wanting to harm the ones who abused me. That was painful, and it took time for me to heal. But, I healed and the thoughts I had that upset me either went away or lowered in how they affected me. Also, once I got through that pain, I felt happy for the first time in forever.

Do you think that is something you can do?

You need to accept how you were hurt; accepting isn't approving. It is part of your history, your reality. You can't go back and change it.

The major huge issue I faced was that my mother and two sisters almost destroyed me. The abuse was so monstrous, I am brain damaged because of it. I started with thinking I could not believe how evil and vicious they were. It stunned me. It still does to this day, but I am past the pain and crippling depression it caused me.

Another HUGE benefit I experienced when I accepted what they did and how it made me feel was my thinking straightened out. It became easier for me to think clearly. That is huge in of itself.