I have always loved to dance. In fact, my very first wonderful memories were of dancing in my paternal grandparents' music room while many family members played instruments. This was an every weekend occurrence. They all mostly played Dixie Land and jazz music. But I love all kinds of music and enjoy dancing in many styles.

When I was about 7 years old, my mother enrolled me into ballet. I took 8 years of lessons every week, with about 7 lessons per week towards the end. I had been invited to audition twice at the School of American Ballet (the school under the New York City Ballet Company). Unfortunately, I didn't make those two times, I think mostly because of growth spurts. After the second time, my mother announced that even if I had been accepted, that she would not have let me study there. That announcement sent me into my first severe depression.

During my first severe depression at 15 years old, I missed so many ballet classes and school classes that I was almost flunked a grade at school and my ballet instructor demanded tuition even for the classes I missed. My mom refused to pay the ballet instructor. That caused me to feel so embarrassed and unwelcome that I stopped ballet. A whole series of horrible events ensued.

But I did eventually start dancing again. I'd dance every day practically; down the road on my way places, in my living room, at parties, in the car (car dancing), to the sound of a flag hitting a flag pole. You name it. When manic, I was known to dance for hours straight without stopping. Many times I'd leave a dance club when they finally closed for the night. That was sometimes 3 am or later.

There was a period when I stopped dancing. Depression can stop me from dancing. Also, I had a period of disturbing musical hallucinations that sort of killed music for me for a while. I have started to recover from that, though.

I may not be dancing nearly as much as I did in my youth, but I still consider myself a dancer. Now I am the "BirdDancer", and when I don't dance with my whole body, I dance in my head or with my fingers racing around the keyboard.