I don't ever get what I need. At least with something like teaching, I can pour love into it and there's the social interaction. I'm beginning to think I'm extroverted but very shy. My favorite days are when I'm surrounded by tons of people all day, especially people that I'm comfortable enough to be myself (and actually talk) around. That environment meets my needs well enough as long as I'm there but there's a feeling of loss when I leave and go home to an empty quiet apartment. I guess I could just buy a new video game system and spend my spare time playing video games...there's a sort of interaction with that. I have a friend that works the door at one of my favorite bars so I can go there sometimes and sometimes spend time with coworkers too (but maybe not so much because almost everyone else has a spouse and/or family).

I'm not sure how to approach it writing either. I keep thinking that adding him on Facebook when I think of it would just seem random. That would probably be the easiest way to do it in writing, but I have no confidence in doing anything socially. I also keep wondering if he just deserves better too. I'm too damaged at this point.