So after three weeks with nothing other than time to think I want to finally tell you all the things. I want to tell you I am hurting and how much. I want to tell you how my inner faith is mainly hot air and I don't have any fire left. I don't want you to fix it. I want you to help me feel ok with being seen. I don't want you to feel sorry for me when I tell you all I have done for 3 weeks is cry.

I want to tell you all this but I am not sure how 4 years of muted silence will be changed by 3 weeks of reflective thinking and a hurt that has surfaced.