This isn't something that would work for me and I'm not trying to be judgmental, but does it really work for you? If you're in such a financial hole that you can't go to regular therapy but you spend money on vacation and stuff that seems unnecessary, all while being frustrated that you are in a power-down position, is this really what is best for you? Seems like you have none of the benefits of curbing your spending that T's "authority" provides, yet all of the detriments of perceiving you are under someone else's thumb. You say you can't make your own decisions, yet you do, and it just seems like it's a kind of pretending that things are one way when they are really another, and that doesn't seem like it's a healthy way to live. If it's working for you, great, but I guess I don't see how it does, except it seems to keep you from making change that is more in line with how you are and want to live your life.