Hi pacman I can relate although my situation is maybe milder than yours. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar after a mixed episode on Lexapro, although my therapist says she doesn't see it and I question if it is accurate. Either way I have a lot of issues with depressive episodes and cannot tolerate SSRIs, and apparently I can not tolerate Lamictal either. I am really sensitive to meds, too. My psychiatrist was surprised. I was also recently told by my psychiatrist and therapist that I seem to have OCD. I have a lot of the "pure O" type obsessions/ intrusive thoughts. I am also not sure what medication I could take, my therapist mentioned Zoloft can help OCD. but I don't want to try another SSRI after my experience, and besides lexapro actually made the intrusive thoughts worse. Anyways, right now I am just trying therapy, will maybe do some ERP, but I am not sure what to really do.

Sorry I don't have any good advice but I am sending compassion and hope you find something that works.