Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverTrees
Thank you LadyShadow. I think I do a lot of the things you suggested. I seek some happiness and peace each day and usually find ways to create it. Still the emptiness persists. However, I am not involved in a group....so your suggestion there could be exactly what I need. I do have a loving partner but I moved away from my family (that's a good thing) and I spend quite a bit of time alone.
It's strange sometimes. Earlier this evening I was fine...did a lot of chores, was laughing at something funny on TV etc. Then the old gnawing emptiness crept in anyway. I honestly remember feeling that way even as a very young child. It's as though I live on my own planet. It's a nice planet, there is a lot to do and think about. But it's still a separate planet from everyone else.
May I ask about why you used to feel empty? Did you grow up with a dysfunctional or abusive family? If you are not comfortable sharing that, no problem. Thank you very much for responding to my thread.  |
Oh I am so glad you made this thread because I relate to it so much! I had an abusive father so I left home at 16. But that's not where the emptiness came from - I was an only child growing up so I had a lot of time on my "own planet" too and I was so happy on it!
I think for me, after I got diagnosed with bipolar 15 years ago, (long story short an irresponsible doctor pushed pills on me causing my very first psychotic manic episode which led to years of hospitalizations), so for me I have felt out of place for a VERY long time because I never had a mental illness my whole life before that horrible doctor did what he did. So naturally, all my friends abandoned me because I was "out of control" but it wasn't my fault because honestly I never recovered from all the psychosis that followed that day at the doctor. I mean, I can be stable for a years and then I just "snap" and everything I built gets destroyed. SO, the loneliness follows.
But, I do have a few friends that stuck by me, and a great guy in my life, (who actually visited and spent Christmas Day in a ward with me one time). But you see, I miss all the groups I made, especially the Star Trek group I made on Twitter, (they all have me blocked now). So ALL of that adds to my loneliness.
However, these days I fill my life with things that I love - and I talk to my guy every night for comfort. BUT, when I feel that loneliness creeping in, I actually go to chat sites and forums and play games or talk in chat. I don't know how you feel about that, but places like Reddit, and Wireclub, Meetme, are social hangouts online so maybe try those out before you venture out too far.
Also, the classic go-to is MeetUps.com because that way you can find others that have your interests where you live and maybe make some real life friends. In the mean time, if you want to talk to me I'm always here : )