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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
He couldn't have gotten control of your finances without your consent so that "somehow" seems kind of misleading. if you're honest the somehow means he somehow convinced you to give him the control so please be honest here, he had no way ot taking your checks without somehow you giving in to an agreement where you surrender your check. So that out of the way, you've gotten yourself into a situation where it's much less like your brother helping or even taking care of you and more like a situation where he's in control. While initially I might think he had your best interests in mind there is no evidence that he is "helping" you other than controlling your finances. There is no evidence here of what he is doing with your finances to assist you in getting out on your own, finding your own place and being independent of him again. He's merely using your finances (as it seems anyway) to supplement his and doling out what he feels like you deserve of your own money. Sorry that's not assistance, that's control and dominance. Even stretching this to assume he really has good intentions, all that is blown out of the water with his interactions with you.
You're siblings and adults at that. Would you wrestle with a guy, 26 yrs old that is just a friend like that? You say that you used to do that as kids but that is irrelevant because you are no longer kids at all. Most ladies I know would not be wrestling around with another adult male of their age or older because of the intimate contact it involves which is in most cases other than romantically involved pairs. Sticking his thumb in your mouth? Grabbing your face? I'm sorry but this screams of just WRONG all over the place.
You need to get away from your brother, he's not acting like one and he is definitely not doing what he is doing to help you.
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I didn't meant to sound dishonest or misleading, sorry if it came off that way im not a very good writer, and i didn't want to be super long winded. Sorry if it is confusing. What happened was i didn't have enough $$ to help with rent one month (spent it on stupid stuff), he said it would be easier if I just gave him my checks right away. It kind of morphed into him keeping it and when i would ask for the rest, he would ask what i wanted it for, and i would tell him, and he would say that i was being irresponsible. Which, I guess I was. But he just kept getting so angry about it whenever i would bring it up that i stopped asking.
Yeah, i guess i just never realized it was weird until it got weird? I have friends that play fight sometimes so it didn't seem out of the ordinary. Anyways, thanks for your insight.
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Originally Posted by Ptak
Yes it does sound weird. It does sound like he is being sexual with you. My guess is he would not admit it openly. He has nothing to gain from admitting it. It also sounds to me, like other posters have said, that he is being controlling with you and your money. I agree with what Sandman said though. Did you give him permission to take your paychecks? Can you take control of your own paychecks? I know that's not what concerns you most though in your OP. It does sound like your brother is being creepy (sexually) and inappropriate with you (sexually). Is it hard for you to be assertive? Can you stop wrestling with him? If he were to initiate wrestling around, would you be able to say no? It does not sound like a healthy or safe situation to be living with him, in my humble opinion.
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Yeah, I guess i technically gave him permission. It is very irritating though, because i feel like i can't confront him about it without a ton of anger. He is really tall and has a loud voice when he's angry and i dont like it. One of my ex's was angry a lot and had gotten physical with me, and hearing men shout kind of makes me panic? So i try to avoid situations like that.
Im just so freaked out. I had some kind of breakdown in my room today because i cant understand what is happening? Why he would act like he did? Tonight we were hanging out and watching netflix and he grabbed me and hugged me and all i could think about was whether he was being weird or not. I just dont understand.
I'm thinking about staying at a friends house for a little while to figure out what's going on, but im not sure what to tell him. Im scared its going to blow up into a big fight.