I am sorry you lost your friends....that must be so hard to wrap your head around.
So sorry that you were hospitalized for a year, what trauma.
I am 56 and find it very hard to make friends.
One woman blocked my phone calls....
it hurts.
I have a few folks that I eat lunch with but only one friend that I can do things with mostly as couples so our husbands get along.
There is trivia on friday nights at a whole foods bar...I am not drinking right now so there is that.
I am sorry you are feeling alone. I am here listening to you.
feel free to PM if you would like to talk privately.
I hope you have better days ahead of you.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi