So let me explain further. I have a lot of anxiety, naturally, when I'm around men. Like yesterday walking my dog--on the path I notice three guys coming my direction and I just immediately tense up on the inside. Once I was in arm's reach, I realized two of them were women, and they were all half my age. . .yet I'm nervous. Drivers pass me and I feel like I don't measure up to the men. . .I'm at the grocery store and I'm so self-conscious of myself and hyper-aware of all the men around me. I know, I know they don't give a hoot about me--they're all just shopping. But I'm extremely aware that they are just naturally men and somehow I don't measure up. I notice two guys talking and I feel so inferior because it seems so easy for them. . .and it'd be so awkward for me.

My therapist encourages me to use what I know from Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and combat those negative thoughts. . .to remind myself that no one is better than me and I am fine with who I am. . .that no one is going to attack me (verbally) so I can just relax. . .that no one is judging me for who I am--they're just shopping or going about their business. . .But it seems like it takes a certain strength of character to begin to apply the CBT, and it's so draining to always have to gear myself up, to psych myself up whenever I'm around men, that some days, usually most days it seems, I don't have the ability to apply the CBT because I'm so inferior anyway, what's the point?

Scott