I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, SilverTrees I completely understand what you mean! I completely agree with what all the wonderful people on this thread have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it if you can! I completely agree with all of you! I'd suggest to keep looking for new hobbies and anything that you may like to do in your free time like you're already wonderfully doing! Just try to give some meaning and purpose to your days! Just take all the time you need! Just take it one step at the time! Just take baby steps! No need to hurry! Just try to find as many distraction as you can! Anything that may help you get through the day! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this! I'm sure you'll be able to get through these bad feelings you're having! Things CAN and WILL get better! I promise you that! Of course we're all here for you if you need support! We'll always be here for you and we'll never abandon you! We all care about you here! We all love you here! Feel free to vent and write here as much as you need and want! You know we'll never judge you! I promise you that! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, SilverTrees! Believe in yourself! I hope you'll be able to believe in yourself the same way we all believe in you! You're a strong, wonderful person! We all know that! I'm sure you know that as well even if it's deep down! Please remember that! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! You don't deserve to suffer at all! Nobody deserves to suffer at all certainly, not you! Stay strong! Just try to do your best! That's all you can do after all and it's more than enough! Keep fighting! You're a strong, wonderful person! We all know that! I'm sure you know it as well even if it's deep down! Please remember that!