I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, continuosly blue I understand what you mean! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings! I'd suggest couple counseling as well if you haven't already! I'm so sorry you're both going through all of this! Communication is a VERY IMPORTANT part in every serious relationship! When communication is lacking, things can be REALLY difficult! I completely agree with what avlady and TishaBuy have already wisely said better than I ever could! I'd suggest to listen to them if you can and want! They always give such great, wonderful advice to everyone! I'm so sorry you're both going through all of this! Please don't give up hope! I hope things will get better soon for both of you! You deserve to have an happy, caring, loving and supportive relationship! Relationships are not easy! I'd suggest to talk to your partner about this and see how it goes from there if you haven't already! Hopefully they'll listen to what you have to say and understand you! If they still refuse to communicate with you listen to you or communicate with you in any other way, perhaps you may want to consider ending this relationship. May you be able to afford it? I know it's not an easy decision to make, but you need to take care of yourself as well! I hope you'll be able to find the strength that YOU DO HAVE to do the right thing by yourself, even if that means leaving your partner! That's just my opinion though! The final decision is up to you! I'm so sorry you're struggling so much! Keep fighting! You don't deserve to suffer at all! Nobody deserves to suffer at all, certainly not you! Keep fighting and stay strong! Just try to do your best! That's all you can do after all and it's more than enough! Just try to find as many distraction as you can! Anythign that may help you get through the day! Do you have a support system IRL? Any friend sor family members that you may reach out to? I'm so sorry you're struggling so much! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! Keep fighting! You're not alone here! You'll never be alone here! We all care about you here! We all love you here! Feel free to vent and write as much as you need and want! You know we'll NEVER judge you! I promise you that! Feel free to speak and write COMPLETELY freely here! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, continously blue! You're awesome! You're a strong, wonderful person! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! We're all cheering you on! Please try to believe in yourself as much as you can! I hope you'll be able to believe in yourself the same way we all believe in you! Keep fighting! Please remember that you're a strong, wonderful person! We all know that! I'm sure you know that as well even if it's deep down! Keep fighting! You're an awesome, strong warrior! Please remember that!