Advice is always appreciated, friends! I have talked with counselors and friends in the past and it has been helpful which is why i came here.
A few things to mention...i am so sorry to hear that you were replaced with a porn addiction, that is absolutely terrible! Luckily, i was raised by a father who had an aversion to porn which i inherited. It doesn't do me any good anyway, as my wife is literally the only woman i fantasize about. That being said, i have known friends and families destroyed by pornography, so it bothers me that much of modern society views it as normal and/or benign. Speaking for some men, i think that they have a difficult time with the effort, commitment, and emotional connection that sex includes in a good relationship. So much like modern society's internet obsession, men enjoy the instant gratification that comes with porn as they get what they THINK they need (orgasm, physical satisfaction) and avoid the strength needed to be vulnerable with their wife. It makes me so sad that this essentially boils down to spousal abuse but the problem is ignored.

Being cut off from sex is excruciating, absolutely. Especially since, as i mentioned, i have always viewed sex not as a mere act but as a means of connecting closely with the woman in my life. I know that a very real part of the struggle right now is that my wife has gained a decent amount of weight since we have been together and she flat out tells me she hates how she looks and does not feel sexy. This hasn't changed how much she turns me on at all. I still love her body as is and i remind her how beautiful and sexy she is all the time, most of which she scoffs at and tells me i am crazy. I have provided gentle encouragement to start working out together, reminding her it is not for me, but so she can feel better about herself AND it gives us a goal to work on together. I don't know if this will lead to her libido increasing but i am hopeful.
I hope you have realized that your friends were plain wrong if they were telling you you shouldn't place so much value on sex. Everything from the Bible to modern science and psychology will talk about how sex is an essential component of any healthy marriage. Sex has taken on this dirty connotation that lingers in society's subconscience because of factors like porn. Your husband was wrong to treat you and your sexual relationship like it was an obligation. If i may be so bold, he was foolish to not want to connect with someone like you who is willing to provide kind advice to strangers putting something good out in the world. Sadly, modern men seem to think the way he did more and more, not realizing or caring, as with you, how much emotional damage this causes to women. You do not deserve to be treated how he treated you. *hugs*