Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Just thought I would post a link so members reading can get a taste of this woman's advice.
yourtube Dr. Laura - Yahoo Video Search Results
I agree that Despair is much harder to deal with than all the other life challenges people choose to whine about. I also agree that trying to use life challenges where one can turn that around into some kind of positive purpose is helpful and it's better to have some kind of purpose than just wandering aimlessly.
The other nite I was watching a program that shown a light on Princess Diana. She was so young and naive when she fell in love with Prince Charles. She was devasted when she discovered that he really did not love her but just married her for "image" instead. What she ended up choosing to do is because the media was so obsessed with her, she used that to shine light on different areas in humanity that showed human suffering and a need for help. At one point when asked if she liked the power, she answered that by saying that she did not see herself as a power person, but instead a humanitarian. What she ended up exposing about not only Prince Charles, but also the royal family is how cold and selfish and controlling and grandiose these ROYALS could be. They did not like what she exposed and all the attention she got, the answer was in how they found ways to cut her off financially so she did not have the ability to travel and be a part of her humanitarian desires and attention she was getting. Millions of people connected to her, genuinely cared about her and felt sorry for her that Prince Charles only used her and had been secretly engaging in an affair with Camilla. She exposed how that royal family was all about control and image rather than having the humanitarian respect like she had.
I do think that how a person is raised can contribute to their personal challenges and their life choices. However, we cannot exclude the ways we can be different, can simply be born wired differently where that ends up with being punished instead of being recognized and guided to be and find out the positive aspects that someone who is wired differently can embrace about themselves in a positive productive way. So, to assume that there is only one way to be and how "that is normal" and everything else that doesn't fit into what is considered normal is bad, then a lot of suffering will take place in humanity. |
Thanks for sharing the link Open Eyes. I'd never heard of her before so I'm only responding to what she said in your link. While some of her points are valuable, I think she is quite reductive on several matters.
Certainly for me, even though I live with depression, I choose to create some joy and peace each day. And I repeat that choice over and over. It helps me a great deal BUT I think Dr. Laura is forgetting about the importance of brain chemistry. Something about my brain chemistry allows me to make that choice and to keep making it. But there are humans with different brain chemistry who get stuck on the "whining" as she calls it. Dr. Laura supposedly has physiology credentials but I think she needs to study or review some neuroscience. Not all brains function in the same way. Yes, we can alter our thoughts and shift the neural pathways but we need to have the ability to take that first step or several steps. And I don't think everyone has that ability.
My brother, for example, is possibly the most negative and bitter person I've ever known. I've tried to help. I've offered non-judgmental support. I try to share things he enjoys but he always defaults to lashing out and a world view that people are all horrible (not my view). So, sadly, I do not think my brother can ever make the choice to create joy and peace for himself each day because his brain chemistry does not allow that....his bitter neural pathways are hard-wired at this point. Good things happen in his life and he perceives them negatively. It's almost shocking sometimes.
And my mother is a lifelong "whiner." She lights up when people feel sorry for her. I think that is hard-wired for her too.
I was surprised that on the one hand Dr. Laura preached about positive attitudes and strength but at the same time she said that some things are unforgivable. Each to their own but for someone as self-righteous as she is, I found that statement quite odd. For me, forgiveness is very important. If I have not fully forgiven the people in my past who hurt me, I make it a goal to keep working on it each day until I get there. There is no peace or health to be found in holding grudges. But again, that's my brain and my perceptions telling me that. Other people will have different perceptions....so I can't say that I am right and they are wrong. Does that make sense?
In short, I certainly practice some of what Dr. Laura preaches in my own life but I don't think everyone is necessarily able to think or respond that way. And we need to respect everyone and wish them peace, including "whiners" like my mother and misanthropes like my brother.
Thank you for this thread Sisabel. I really enjoy discussions like this.
