Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden
I donīt have any actual friends because I so often get upset and disappointed in others. Iīve had a few friends, not close friends but someone I could watch a movie with and similar. Iīm never aggressive towards anyone, itīs more that I become disappointed and I then decide not to contact them again or I withdraw.
After I became more depressed and anxious I also isolate more and I find it too painful to risk the feelings of disappointment and rejection of others.
The other day I got very disappointed when my case manager didnīt call me back for two days after calling her several times and leaving a couple of messages on her answering machine.
As I felt she ignored me I cancelled our next appointment and called her manager to ask for another case manager. (They didnīt have one so it ended in rescheduling with the case manager I already saw).
Does anyone relate to this, has this happened to you?
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Hi SarahSweeden. This is a really interesting thread! Thank you for sharing your truth. I am so sorry that you have been struggling. Have you ever wondered if it's not others that you are really upset with...perhaps you are upset with yourself? By that I mean that maybe it's a self-esteem issue? I say that with zero judgment. It's very human to struggle with self-esteem. I am just wondering if you felt more secure within yourself and practiced daily self-appreciation, perhaps the actions of others would not feel quite so visceral to you? I have certain things that people sometimes do which make me feel very angry inwardly. But when I step back and think about it, it's because something is triggered within me...so then I reflect a while about what that is and how to strengthen that part of myself. Then I don't feel angry. I'm a work-in-progress of course...will be until my last day on earth but I do find that approach helpful.
You said you felt ignored by the case manager. Perhaps you felt that her actions altered your worth somehow...but if you believed that your worth is intrinsic and cannot be diminished by others....maybe you wouldn't feel so hurt by it?
Just a few thoughts for you. And yes, people have really disappointed me too at times. I just keep telling myself: "I cannot change other people; I can only change how I respond to them."
Peace and hope to you!