Are you serious? You had an affair, didn't even apologize or acknowledge it to your wife, selfishly want to control your affair partner's livelihood with your jealousy and you want to have your cake (stay married for the wife's financial support) and eat it too (continue daydreaming about having sex with your affair partner, and hope you can get her to stop dating so you can be with her).

I think you need a hard dose of reality. You are lacking real moral ethics here. You have no remorse for this affair and are acting like you did nothing wrong. You violated your marriage vows, and continue to use your wife for her money so you can start a business with a woman you had sex with. That's messed up. Sorry to be so cruel, but I think you're not dealing with reality at all. Or you don't want to.