I shouldn't vent here my feelings, but I am going to anyway. I've been having this nagging feeling in my pit of my stomach that I want to go back to school and get my PhD. Financially I know it's impossible for me to do right now, and possibly ever. I think I'll have to leave that dream behind. It makes me sad because even if by some miracle I did have the finances to cover it -- I couldn't guarantee my mental state will allow me to continue. I had to put my master degree on hold for a year before finishing.. with only 2 classes to go. I started my PhD two years ago, but had to drop out due to an incident. I didn't even get passed week 3 of the first course. Sometimes I feel like a failure and it's times like this that I remember when and how I have failed.

I feel inadequate as it is -- I'm not the brightest person in the world and I often do things on a whim -- but receiving my doctorate has been a dream of mine since I can remember. Education is important to me. I just don't know where to go from here . The dream is essentially dead.