i'm on the other side of this. my bf can be pretty smothering and it does push me away. if he's constantly calling/texting and showing up at unexpected times, it takes away my chance to reach out to him and initiate. contacting me when i have to have my attention on something else can feel intrusive and disruptive. i'm very introverted so i do need my space, plus i struggle with adhd so i deal with sensory overload quite a bit and can be really thrown off by unexpected interruptions.
we've talked about this and understand each other better now, but yeah, having a talk about this issue with your bf would be good, along with seeing a therapist.
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