Depression and mania is who I am which isn't something a pill or therapy will ever fix. I see my pDoc to help me with my anxiety and depression but it's just a tool to help and requires work on your part. I've seen the massive list of medications people have posted and my conclusion has to be their looking for the pill or combo to stop feeling like how we feel everyday. You're never going to find that but only find yourself going deeping into a state of self loathing and hatred towards yourself. The more you accept it the better off you'll be. I've learned to accept myself for who I am over the years. You can't change who you really are inside but you can live a good life in our way. It's difficult yes, but with practice you can deal with it and live life in our own way.

For years I tired to be someone else and ignore who I am. That resulted in going into a great depressive state, hindering me quite useless.

I make budgets by drafting an actual written plan and make weekly reports to see my spending. I also set goals for myself from short term one to long term ones like vacations. I only live on 70% of my income even though I want to spend and spend. I just bought my 4th BMW last month and I feel whatever about it and no It wasn't an impulse buy but one I planned for the last 2 months. Each car I have has it's own purpose of how I use them.

I'm a what the medical profession calls bipolar 1. I've become an executive officer at work and my goal is to be the next CEO. The medical world says we take on so much that we can't accomplish them. This is true when you don't have people to assign all these tasks that I take on. I've increased sales by 30% and our employment size has grown by 13% in 2018. They gave me 2 more administrative assistants last month to help me with all my tasks so I can be myself and not worry about overwhelming myself. I'm always manic though and to me it's not a bad thing. I was told by an old friend your manic and your going to crash. It's been 2 years I've been manic 24/7 and I havent crashed and burned or will I ever. When you're in control you can be yourself by limiting yourself to what you know you handle.

What I wanted to say but felt I should give some examples from my own life is, love and be yourself but in a positive and productive way.

Relationships outside of work. Being in management I don't have to worry about interacting with others below me because of conflict of interest. But in reality its because I dont want to interact with employees at the personal level. Also I enjoy being by myself and for years I've tried and tried because that's what we are told that's what we need. Honestly I'm happy doing things alone and when I'm out I'll break into conversations with others that's around me. Parks, coffee shops, shopping, etc I enjoy doing it alone. When I'm with others then it's just work. Friends are work, family is work, basically people are work.

Have a great weekend