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Originally Posted by stopdog
It didn't sound like he was saying don't drunk call the therapist. I would have taken more as don't drink and then get remorseful and call the therapist to confess or be absolved or make it into a crisis where you think you need the therapist.
Have you asked him whether he wants to see your inner world? And what response from him were you expecting? I don't usually have a desire to see the inner world of others - I never know why they are telling me or what I am supposed to do when they tell me about it.
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I ended up saying that his comment bothered me because I've only ever called this T once (literally), and he said he was trying to make a joke and apologized. I think maybe I do need to ask him more about what he wants me to share.
Quote:
Originally Posted by susannahsays
Regarding the inner world thing, it might be a question of selectivity. You know ex-MC and even your relationship with your current therapist are sensitive subjects for your husband. I think the point of sharing stuff in a relationship or increasing emotional intimacy or whatever is that it's supposed to strengthen the relationship. Asking your husband for support on a topic that he feels wronged by in a way isn't going to achieve that.
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These are good points. To clarify, I didn't talk about the ex-MC stuff this week in any detail at all--I knew it was obvious that I was upset Thursday after session, so I told him that it wasn't anything about him or about T, that I was processing some ex-MC stuff. And that I knew that topic bothered him, so I wasn't intending to talk about it with him at all.
He seems generally OK with my T. We had a discussion about it recently, and he agreed with me that I seem very different about him as compared to how I was with ex-MC (OK, so I guess he came up there...). And he seems to think he's helping me.
In sharing stuff with him, a while back (like a few years), he said he felt I wasn't "present" enough with him. (He's mentioned that other times, too.) And I know I'm in my own head a lot. So I guess one way I've tried to change that is trying to be more open with what's going on with me if I'm, say, really spaced out or emotional. But maybe I shouldn't be? I feel if I ask him, he'll just be like, "Share whatever you want." Or "it doesn't bother me." So I don't know...Maybe I'll just try sharing less and see how it goes.